Embarking on a journey of self-reflection often leads us to confront the most deeply ingrained cycles of shame. For me, the shame of being labeled as "fat" has been an ongoing battle, one that I've grappled with since childhood. It's a label that's been hurled at me with a force that cuts deep, leaving scars that aren't always visible but are profoundly felt.

Growing up, I struggled to fit into the mold society deemed acceptable. Whether it was being relegated to play with older kids in sports or squeezing into clothes meant for someone much larger, my weight defined me in ways I didn't always understand or appreciate. Even within my own family, where genetics seemed to favor a fast metabolism for everyone but me, I felt like the odd one out.

My journey with weight has been anything but linear. I've experienced fluctuations that mirrored the highs and lows of my life. From the crushing blow of losing my Army scholarship to navigating the challenges of teaching and grappling with personal health diagnoses, each setback seemed to add another layer to the shame I carried.

What's perhaps most insidious about the shame of being fat is how it permeates every aspect of life. It's not just external judgment from others but also the relentless self-criticism that becomes internalized. Every glance in the mirror is accompanied by a litany of negative self-talk, a constant reminder that I don't measure up to some arbitrary standard of beauty or worthiness.

But here's the thing: I refuse to let shame dictate my life any longer. I refuse to buy into the myth that my worth is determined by the number on a scale or the size of my clothes. And I refuse to perpetuate a culture that thrives on tearing others down rather than lifting them up.

The statistics are staggering: one in three Americans struggles with obesity. Yet, despite the prevalence of this issue, we continue to stigmatize and shame those who don't fit into society's narrow definition of beauty or health. It's a cycle that's as harmful as it is pervasive, perpetuated by the unrealistic expectations imposed upon us by others and ourselves.

For me, breaking free from this shame cycle begins with challenging the "shoulds" that dominate my thoughts. I should look a certain way. My body should conform to societal norms. These toxic beliefs only serve to reinforce the shame I feel and hinder my ability to embrace self-acceptance and self-love.

Admitting that I've gained weight, especially in the midst of grappling with mental health challenges, is a vulnerable act. But it's also a necessary one if I'm ever going to break free from the shame that's held me captive for far too long. And so, I'm embarking on a 90-day challenge, not as a punishment for past indiscretions, but as a celebration of my resilience and a testament to my unwavering commitment to self-improvement.

Instead, I'm choosing to redefine what it means to prioritize my health and well-being. Exercise isn't just about sculpting the perfect physique; it's a form of self-care, a way to honor my body and nourish my soul. And while it's easy to succumb to excuses and self-sabotage, I'm committed to showing up for myself, even on the days when it feels impossibly hard.

But I'm not embarking on this journey alone. I invite anyone who's navigating their own path to wellness to join me. Let's lift each other up, celebrate our victories, and support one another through the inevitable setbacks. Because the beauty of overcoming obstacles lies not in achieving perfection but in embracing our imperfections and finding strength in our shared humanity.

So here's to breaking free from the shame of being fat and embracing a future filled with self-love, self-acceptance, and unbridled possibility. Together, we can rewrite the narrative and redefine what it means to be truly, unapologetically, and beautifully ourselves.